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I grew up as the youngest of three children. I had two older sisters, and then there was me — the youngest and only boy. At the age of three, I experienced a life-threatening battle with whooping cough. During a three-month struggle with the illness, I twice turned blue and stopped breathing. One time, my mother was certain that I had died. But God had other plans for my life, and I survived.

That experience created in me a deep fear of death and sickness. As a child, I suffered from terrible nightmares. I would vividly dream about someone climbing up the outside of our house to take me away or harm me. Fear became a constant part of my life.

Then, at the age of five, I heard about Jesus — how He came to save us and give us peace. I asked my parents if I could invite Jesus into my heart, and they lovingly led me in prayer. Although I did not fully understand everything at that age, that decision forever changed my life. Seeds of faith began to grow in my heart from that moment forward.

Not long after becoming a follower of Christ, I once again woke up frightened after a bad dream. My father had recently been reading about how God gives us a spirit of power and not of fear. He decided to pray with me and pray against the fear that had gripped my life. He prayed, “Spirit of fear, leave Jamie’s body.” He asked me if anything had happened, and I said no. He prayed a second time, and still nothing changed. Then he prayed a third time, and I remember feeling a dark, heavy feeling leave my body. I turned to my dad and said, “It’s gone.”

From that night forward, I slept peacefully through the night. It became a breakthrough moment in my life. From then on, I knew Jesus was real, that He cared deeply for me, and that He could do miraculous things.

However, another major chapter of life was about to begin.

When I was eight years old, my parents began fostering and later adopting children. What followed was a life-changing adventure. Over the next thirteen years, my parents fostered more than twenty children and adopted fifteen new brothers and sisters into our family. I went from being the youngest child to becoming the third oldest and the oldest male in the home, carrying a great deal of responsibility.

Many of these children came from extremely difficult situations and carried deep emotional wounds and trauma. Our home became a place of constant unpredictability. While my parents were doing a beautiful and sacrificial thing by helping so many children, life inside our home was often overwhelming. I had to grow up quickly and learn how to navigate life among hurting and traumatized people. As I learned, hurting people often hurt people.

During those years, I frequently felt alone and forgotten. My parents were consumed by the tremendous needs around them, and I often struggled quietly on the inside. I escaped into video games, sports, and eventually pornography as I grew older. I still had a relationship with God, but I did not know how to deal with the wounds, loneliness, and confusion in my heart.

Then, at the age of seventeen, while attending Bible camp, I sensed God whispering to my heart: “Go to Bible College.” I had never considered it before, but I knew that was what God was calling me to do. I attended Bible College, completed my degree, and even received an award for student leadership. I worked hard to be successful. I earned good grades, captained sports teams, and tried to be the “good kid.” Yet deep inside, I was still carrying pain, abandonment, and isolation.

Years later, an older man in his sixties spoke to a group of young adults I was part of. He openly shared his struggles and story, many of which mirrored my own. He invited the men to attend a purity group for those struggling with pornography. I knew I needed help.



For years, I had prayed for God to simply remove the struggle, but freedom never seemed to come. What I eventually realized was that this man and his group were actually God’s answer to my prayers. So often, God answers our prayers by sending people into our lives.

These caring men walked with me through a journey of healing and freedom. For the first time, I began to understand that pornography had become a way for me to medicate the loneliness and pain from my childhood. I needed a safe place where I could surrender those wounds to Jesus. I needed people who would encourage me, care for me, and remind me that change was possible.

That is what hope became for me — the belief that healing can happen, that we are not defined by our failures, and that God still has a beautiful purpose for our lives. That is also what the church became for me: a community of caring people who helped me experience the life I had always longed for.

Eventually, I entered pastoral ministry in my thirties, and I continue every day on the journey of becoming more like Christ. Not through my own strength, but through the Spirit of God transforming my heart. Today, I have the privilege of helping others discover freedom, purpose, healing, and identity in Jesus.

Life is a journey, and challenges will always come. But the journey is so much better when Christ walks beside us, leading us every step of the way.

One of my life verses is found in Psalm 23:

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” — Psalm 23:1